This post is Part 4 in this week’s series “After You Believe.” Click these links to read Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.

I’ve always been jealous of people in bands.

A few years ago I was walking out of a hotel in downtown Chicago and noticed a group of guys my age unloading suitcases out of a van. Each of the guys was wearing tight jeans and V-neck t-shirts, and each of them had facial hair.

They might as well have been wearing a sign that said, WE ARE MUSICIANS.

I leaned over to the guy I was with and whispered, “Those guys are in a band.”

Without hesitation, my friend said to one of the alleged musicians, “Hey! Are you guys in a band?”

“Yeah,” the bearded troubadour confirmed.

“What’s your band called?” my friend asked.

“Augustana,” he said.

I did a double take. I liked Augustana, but more importantly I knew that they were on tour with Counting Crows, one of my all-time favorite bands. I was now invested in the conversation.

I did the obligatory “I-really-like-your-music” bit before I asked, “Are you guys here with Counting Crows?”

“Yeah,” he said, nice enough to still be talking to us. “We’re all playing the Taste of Chicago festival later today. You should come.”

Yes I should, I thought.

So later that day, I ditched my buddy (who was not at all interested in going to Taste of Chicago) and went to see Counting Crows and Augustana play the festival.

There were several times during the Counting Crows show that the members of Augustana came back out onto the stage to join in on a song. At any given moment there were up to twelve or thirteen musicians on the stage, each playing an instrument or singing harmony, each contributing to the musical whole.

They played several cover songs together, including Van Morrison’s “Caravan” and Bob Dylan’s “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere.” Those songs, that have always been good, sounded simply amazing played by this collection of musicians.

There is a reason why I’ve always been jealous of people in bands. It’s not the musical talent (although it is a little bit) or the cool rock star swagger (I cannot wear skinny jeans). No, the real source of my envy is that a band is a perfect picture of what it means to contribute to something bigger than yourself.

By himself (or herself), a guitarist or a drummer or a singer can make beautiful music. However, together, twelve or thirteen various musicians, each playing their respective instruments or singing their respective parts, can make something bigger and fuller and more powerful.

It’s one thing to listen to Bob Dylan sing “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere” with a harmonica and an acoustic guitar. It’s a whole other thing to listen to the members of Counting Crows and Augustana breathe new life into that same song.

(Aside: I recognize that lots of artists do a whole lot with only a little bit. Some of the best musical experiences I have ever had were with a small group of musicians, so I understand that this analogy breaks down pretty easily, but I’m trying to make a metaphor here. Cut me some slack.)

It feels good to contribute to something bigger than yourself—to be a vital part of a larger construction.

This is what it means to follow Jesus. We are invited to participate in something much larger than ourselves—to play alongside other “musicians” as we strive to contribute to something beautiful.

We find a church, we join a small group, we invest in the lives of our friends—we do these things because we are traveling through this life with other people, and our calling is to walk alongside them.

To follow Jesus is to understand that we are communal beings and then to lean into that reality.

We share life with other people because, as God says in the book of Genesis-

“It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)

This passage is not about marriage—it is about the nature of human beings. We are not meant to be alone.

So what do we do after we begin to follow Jesus? We find other people who are on that same path, and we begin to journey alongside them.

We learn to celebrate when others celebrate and to mourn when others mourn.

We learn to contribute to the lives of others.

We learn to carry the burdens of our brothers and sisters, making difficulty easier to bear and making triumph feel more joyful.

In short, we learn to join the band.

Click here to read Part 5 of this series.

I like to spend time alone. I’m not necessarily a hermit, but I certainly have the makings of one. You might say that, under the right circumstances, I’m a bit of an “Old Hermit Starter Kit.”

Don’t get me wrong; I love people, and I value my relationships. It’s just that there are times in my life when I really want to be left alone.

While isolation and solitude can be healthy (more on that tomorrow), there is no substitute for life-giving relationships.

A few months ago, I attended an event called 2 Days with Rob Bell in Laguna Beach, California. There were about one hundred of us in attendance, and the setting was designed to be small and intimate.

In spite of the event’s size and structure, I was still trying to remain somewhat invisible. I enjoy anonymity in a crowd of strangers.

However, in spite of my best efforts to avoid personal interaction, there was a moment during one of the sessions when I felt like I needed to raise my hand and ask a question (I have written elsewhere about what happened when I asked my question, and I will repost it on this blog later this week). And, in asking my question, I drew attention to myself.

When the session broke for dinner, a guy named Mike came over and introduced himself to me and invited me to get dinner with himself and a few other people who were attending the seminar.

Mike told me that he had wrestled with some of the same questions I had raised during the session, and he wanted to talk with me a little more.

So I broke my code of anonymity and went to dinner with the group.

This was the single best decision that I made during my entire trip to Laguna Beach. Not only was the conversation interesting and the beer delicious, but it actually helped me work through some of the major questions I had been struggling with.

It is an amazing thing to learn that you are not alone—that there are other people in this world who are asking the same questions as you are, who have been just as confused and disoriented as you feel.

I have stayed in touch with those guys since returning from Laguna Beach, and they have continued to encourage me from all over the continent.

So to Mike, Chris, Greg, and Ty: Thank you for forcing me out of my anonymity.

As it happens, one of the guys in this story made a video about this very thing: the value of human connection, and it’s very good. You can watch it below.

Do you struggle to open yourself to new connections? Why do you think it’s so difficult for us to engage with other people in our lives?

ALSO: You can find Mike’s blog at www.mikemchargue.com, and you should totally read it, because this guy is wicked smart.